After I became a nun in Hwa Gye Sa Temple and practiced there for a year, a senior monk told me: “After the summer retreat, you will become Zen Master Seung Sahn’s attendant.” I was shocked to hear this because, to me, Dae Seon Sa Nim was high above — someone I could not get close to. I said: “I cannot be his attendant. I don’t know anything.” But the senior monk said: “No problem. You will be fine.” On the first day, I went to Zen Master Seung Sahn’s room and bowed to him. He was very enthusiastic and happy and said: “Don’t worry, no problem. Just relax.”
In the beginning, I was
nervous to be his attendant because I didn’t know anything. At first there was
another nun with me, and she taught me how to be an attendant. But she soon
left, and I was Zen Master Seung Sahn’s only attendant. In the first month,
when Zen Master Seung Sahn went out with other sunims, I would stay at the
temple. After a month, Dae Seon Sa Nim said to me: “You come with us for lunch
today. Go get ready.” That was the first time I went out with Zen Master Seung
Sahn. We went to a restaurant with Zen Master Dae Jin, Zen Master Dae Bong and
a few laypeople. I felt quite uneasy, sitting there and just looking at the
table. After a while, the food was served, and I just ate. It was my first time
to have cheese omelet. It tasted funny — not spicy, not salty, but, in fact,
quite oily. Usually in Korea, we would have tea during lunch, so eating more
was okay. But at that time, no tea was served, so my stomach just felt very
full and not comfortable at all.
A few days later, Zen
Master Seung Sahn said to me: “Today’s lunch I will order special food for you.
Whatever you like, you tell me. I will order it for you.” I said: “Yes, sir.”
An hour later, he said it again: “Today’s lunch I will order special food for
you. Whatever you like, you tell me. I will order it for you.” Same speech, twice.
When we arrived at the restaurant, Zen Master Seung Sahn said it again: “I will
order special food for you. You choose from the menu, I will order it for you.”
This was the third time that he said the same thing. Very strange. So Zen
Master Dae Bong showed me the menu and recommended something, and I decided to
order that. Then, when the waiter took orders, Zen Master Seung Sahn said, “We
will have seven cheese omelets.” Zen Master Dae Bong was a bit shocked to hear
that. While eating, I thought: “Why did he say it three times that he’d let me
choose the food, but he still ordered cheese omelets? He never asked me what I
wanted!” From then on, whenever we went out for meals, Zen Master Seung Sahn
would order cheese omelets. After eating it so many times, I began to get used
to its taste.
Zen Master Seung Sahn
had long-term illness. Though his body condition was not very good, he kept a
busy traveling schedule to spread the Dharma overseas. Therefore, the Hwa Gye
Sa abbot sunim decided that I should follow Zen Master Seung Sahn to take care
of him. That was my first time traveling aboard, and we stayed in America for
about a month. During our time there, we went out for meals quite often, and
every time we had cheese omelets. However, since I had had it so many times
before, I knew the taste and even started to enjoy eating it. After that first
trip, I followed Zen Master Seung Sahn to many countries in the Americas,
Europe, and Asia, including Hong Kong.
In the beginning, I
didn’t understand why we always had to have cheese omelets, and I didn’t like
its taste. But later on, I understood that Zen Master Seung Sahn might have
been training my tongue. I am Korean, and Koreans cannot do without kimchee or
gochujang ( chillie paste ) at every meal. I
know some Korean sunims who carry kimchee and gochujang with them when they
travel. Zen Master Seung Sahn never took Korean food with him. Wherever he
went, he ate the local food. He retrained my tongue’s habits and helped me put
down my attachment to kimchee. Now, wherever I go, I don’t have problems with
food.
Dae
Seon Sa Nim, thank you very much for your teaching!
( Chung Shim Sunim is a Korean nun. She met Zen Master Seung Sahn in 1995 and started practicing at Hwa Gye Sa Temple, where she later became a nun. A year after ordination, she was appointed Zen Master Seung Sahn’s attendant. She accompanied him to spread the Dharma in many countries. Since Zen Master Seung Sahn passed away in 2004, Chung Shim Sunim has stayed at Hwa Gye Sa, where she continues her practice today. )
