2016年5月2日 星期一

Where Am I?


Myong Hae Sunim JDPSN    



I started practicing Zen with the Kwan Um School in Lithuania in 1991. My practice there quickly pointed me in the direction of ordaining as a monastic. I traveled to Korea, ordained and soon went to Hong Kong to train with Zen Master Dae Kwan. I have been a nun now for 19 years under the guidance of Zen Master Dae Kwan, or “Sifu” as we all lovingly call her.

This last year I had the opportunity to experience our Kwan Um School in a special way. It started with me joining the three-month winter Kyol Che retreat at Providence Zen Center and then part of summer Kyol Che in Europe. At Providence, we had a different teacher nearly every week, and in Europe, summer Kyol Che took place in different countries, including the Czech Republic, Lithuania, Slovakia and Poland. It was a fantastic opportunity to meet and practice with different sanghas from our international school. Our style of practice in the Kwan Um School is the same around the world, but there are small adjustments from sangha to sangha. I experienced don’t know mind continuously while adjusting to these small differences. This was so valuable because it brought back a beginner’s mind over and over again. At the same time that I was experiencing the differences, I also experienced the sameness within our school, and this was a wonderful and warm feeling. You are at home in every place!

One interesting lesson for me was chanting the Heart Sutra in so many different languages. This was great! Usually we memorize the Heart Sutra in one language and then sometimes go on automatic when we chant it. Our mouths chant it but our minds think right along with no hindrance. This is not possible when trying to chant in a different language. Every word is completely new. Also, even though we all chant the Great Dharani in Korean, the melody would change ever so slightly from group to group, sangha to sangha and country to country. I found myself asking “Where am I? Where are we in the chant?” So again and again—back to don’t-know mind!

This was the first time that I met and practiced with so many different teachers as I traveled from Asia to the United States and to Europe. Each teacher had a different way of presenting Zen Master Seung Sahn’s teachings. Each teacher has his or her own character and life experience, creating new and lively exchange in interviews. I often laughed as much as I learned. I felt their care and their sincere wish for each of us to grow.

At first I experienced frustration with the different approaches that teachers took. Sifu, however, taught me not to attach to a “standard” answer, but rather to connect with the teacher in front of me. This meant perceiving what is happening in each moment of the interview. It was a treasure to learn different perspectives from each teacher. It is the same in our lives; there is no one formula that fits every situation. This was of great value to me and helped me to be clear in every moment, rather than depending on past experience. I completely enjoyed the process itself!

But just as wonderful and helpful as it has been to meet with so many teachers in our school, for me it has been profoundly important to have one primary teacher with whom I could deepen my practice and who guided me through thick and thin. Meeting with my primary teacher regularly meant she could point out hidden habits and show me what was sometimes so difficult for me to see clearly about myself. It was Sifu who sent me out at this point in my life to expand and to experience. I am very grateful to her.


I encourage everyone to take advantage of the unique situation in our school. You don’t need to look for other schools. Your practice can benefit greatly by meeting the many teachers and trying out the slightly different styles in the international Kwan Um School.

(From Kwan Um School of Zen, Primary Point, Volume 32, Number 3, Winter 2016)

我在那裡?



明海法師 指導菩薩 


我於1991年在立陶宛的觀音禪院開始修禪。在那裡的修行很快為我指出成為一位出家人的方向。之後我到韓國出家,隨即來香港接受大觀禪師的訓練。在大觀禪師(我們喜歡稱她為「師父」)的指導下,現在我已成為比丘尼19年了。

在過去一年,我有機會以特別的方式去體驗我們的觀音禪院。這體驗由我參加三個月在Providence的冬安居禪修及部分的歐洲夏安居禪修開始。在Providence,我們幾乎每星期都有不同的導師;而在歐洲,我的夏安居禪修則在不同的國家進行,包括捷克、立陶宛、斯洛伐克及波蘭。這是一個很奇妙的機緣,讓我可以與國際禪院不同的僧團相處及一起修行。於世界各地的觀音禪院,我們的修行方式都是一樣的,但僧團與僧團之間會有少許調整。在適應著這些細微的分別時,我不斷地體驗到不知的心。這是很寶貴的,因它一次又一次的帶我回到初心。我在體驗著「不同」的同時,亦體驗到我們禪院的「同」,精彩及溫暖的感受共冶一爐!你所在的每處地方都是家!

其中有一課我認為很有趣,就是用不同的語言去念誦心經。這體驗好極了!我們會慣常地用一種語言背誦心經,有時念誦時會自動地把它念出來。我們口中在念,但同時我們的心卻在無顧慮地思想。但當我們嘗試用另一種語言去念誦時,這是不可能的。每一個字都是完全新的。此外,即使我們全體都用韓文來念誦大悲咒,團體與團體之間,僧團與僧團之間,國家與國家之間的旋律都會有些微變化。我發覺自己在問:「我在那裡?」「我們在那裡念誦?」所以一次又一次地 回到不知的心!

由亞洲到美國再到歐洲,這是我第一次與那麼多不同的導師見面及修行。每位導師都以不同的方法演繹崇山禪師的教法。每位導師都有他或她自己的性格及人生經驗,在參公案時創造出嶄新又活潑的交流。我常常大笑,亦學到很多!我感受到他們的關懷,以及他們由衷的盼望著我們每一位的成長。

最初對於導師們的不同教法,我感到挫敗。幸而師父教導我不要執著於「標準」答案,而應該要與面前的導師相應。意思是去觀照參公案時每一刻所發生的事。能從每位導師中學習到不同的觀點是難能可貴的。在我們的生活中亦同樣;不會有一個方案可適用於每個處境。這領會對我很寶貴,能幫助我於每一個當下保持清明,而不是依靠著過去的經驗。我完全地享受過程的本身!

能遇到觀音禪院衆多的導師們當然是精彩及有幫助的。對我而言,更重要的是要有一位主要導師。她可以助我更加深入地修行,並於好境或壞境時都給予指導。與我的主要導師定期會面,意思是她可指出我隱藏的習氣;同時,有時候自己很難看得清楚自己,但主要導師卻可從旁指示。是師父在我生命的這個時刻讓我到外面去拓展及體驗,我非常感恩她。

我鼓勵每位同學善用我們禪院獨有的環境。你們不須再找尋其他道場。與衆多導師的會面及嘗試國際觀音禪院各種稍微不同的方式,會對你的修行有莫大益處!